Sunday, May 15, 2011

Crazy lady

I stopped publishing to the blog months ago in part because I felt I was getting redundant. How many times and how many ways can I say I miss Ron? I was boring even to myself, with nothing quite salacious to report. I'm going to skip over a bunch of milestones (holidays, birthdays, one-year anniversary, Neiman's last call sale) because you could probably write your own scripts and they would be--more or less--accurate. We have been happy, devastated, grateful, frustrated, hopeful, exhausted, defeated, and invincible--often, inexplicably, at the same time.

As we continue our best to show up for life, things I didn't anticipate still catch me off guard.

Example. This morning, our town held a road race for families. It would be Mai and Tal's first run. Because of their ages, they were in different races and I couldn't run with them. I asked a friend who was running with his own son to run with Tal, and Mai would be running with a small pack of classmates from school.

Tal happily took off with the Dad and friend, and then was out of sight until he emerged again near the finish line. He was all smiles and quite triumphant, but I learned that he got an aerial assist mid-course. Tired and not wanting to run farther, Tal was carried part of the way by the Dad, who was still running with his own son.

Mai was eager to run with her friends and started strong, but found herself alone when the pack pulled apart. Mid-course was invisible to me once again, but by the time Mai emerged, she was holding hands with another Dad, a friend, who had adopted her along the way. He ran with his own daughter in one hand and Mai in the other, periodically squeezing her hand to encourage her onward. It was so unexpected and sweet that I disintegrated when I saw them (but not before I snapped a photo). That crazy lady crying on the course? That was me.

Ron, I hope you can see what good care the world is taking of your kids. They will grow up feeling that people are lovely and generous and kind. They will know grace, and have faith that the world will not let them fall.

To those Dads today, thank you for taking care of our kids and helping them feel proud of themselves. Your kindness liquefied me, but I'm so grateful for it.